The League: In Which “Vulture” is a Verb

Episode 3×3:

Let’s just go ahead and assume that anything Taco-produced is wonderful in the way that it’s actually terrible. It’s so bad, it’s good. We start off the episode with Andre’s “I’m a Man”-themed video. Since Taco directed it, there are “subliminal messages” (animals copulating) that aren’t quite subliminal. Why does Andre need a man-themed self-aggrandizing advert you might ask? Because he’s turning to the internet to find potential dates. “Online dating services: where those who society has outcast get together and ideally colonize another planet.”

Meanwhile, Ruxin wants to hire a au pair since he failed so epically at getting baby Geoffry into a Jewish preschool. His justification for hiring an attractive au pair is so that his son can grow up used to being surrounded by hot girls.

Over at Plot Contrivance Central (Jenny’s Regional Real Estate Conference), Kevin and Taco spot ESPN “Fantasy Football expert,” Matthew Berry. Kevin dubs him the “prettiest girl in the bar” and tries too woo some football tips out of him. This is not unprecedented. Last season Kevin called Terry Bradshaw for advice. After a lot of flailing and floundering, Taco helps him out, getting Matthew’s card out of the deal.

Kevin is very excited about his potential relationship with Matthew Berry but doesn’t want to tell his wife Jenny. Really, though, I don’t see why he can’t come clean with her. She already knows he’s crap at fantasy football. The only seasons he even came close to the playoffs were when she was still covertly co-managing his team. Regardless, he doesn’t want to tell her. So, despite the fact that he’s a lawyer, Kevin can’t lie so he solicits Ruxin for some help. A couple of montages later and Kevin’s stuttering, “What? No!”s are turned into glib fibs.

The overarching theme of the episode which runs parallel to most of the plots is about vulturing. First, Pete’s fantasy football player vultures one of Andre’s player’s points. Pete deems it karma since Andre screwed Pete out of the 8-man mega-trade during the Sukkoth Pact 2011 last week. To rub salt in the wound, Pete later vultures one of Andre’s online dates. A couple of days later, when Andre and Kevin show up at the bar for their respective dates, Andre mistakenly believes that Mathew Berry is vulturing his date. She’s actually asking to be set up because Andre is a capital-C Creep. He proves this by picking a fight with unassuming Matthew Berry, coming on too strong, ultimately punching Kevin despite aiming for Matthew. Andre ruins both his and Kevin’s dates before they could even start.

Pete seems to be on fire this week, ending the episode by vulturing baby Geoffrey’s hot au pair.

That’s all for this week. Check back soon for next week’s recap. What did you think of the Au Pair. Hit the comments and let me know.


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